Miles, My New Therapist
What did it feel like to you when you was growing up?
We had just finished reading one of his favorite bedtime short stories, "Curious George Takes the Train."
I thought Miles was buying more stay-awake time by asking his mom to talk about herself.
With every intention of outsmarting him, I quickly chronicled the types of beds I slept in, and at what age. I told Miles I was in a crib in my parents room until 5, at which point my sister Jeannie married and freed up a bed. I got promoted across the hall to bunk beds with Bud, my only brother. A couple of years later, sister Diane got hitched and I upgraded to a single twin. Soon my sister Eileen scooted to Vermont, but my sister Laura and I stayed roommates in our matching twins.
When I was 12, my dad died and soon after, Laura married. I landed a full-size bed. I blurted to Miles that it was a lonely time.
Why?
I told him that Sue, my remaining sister living at home, and I were mean to each other.
Why? Her hit you? Miles got a time-out yesterday for hurting his brother Charlie.
No. Well, she tripped me once. But I was mean to her too. I took her things without asking first.
Was she mean to you when your dad was alive?
No, not really. Maybe, Miles, Sue was sad about my dad and she took it out on me.
[Miles and I talk about anger displacement a lot, but only tonight did I consider its role in my childhood relationship with my sister Sue.]
Was your mom alive?
Yes. But I didn't really like her too much at the time. I was kind of mean back then, remember.
Why you not like Betty? He pronounces my mom's name Bed-Tee.
I guess I wasn't sure if she loved me.
She still loves you. Miles said it immediately and with certainty. She's talking about you right now with....Miles paused, trying to grab the name of our dead-for-two-years-now cockatiel.
Chipper?
Yes, Chipper and Grammie. Betty is talking about you with both of them right now.
I welled up, hugged him, kissed him, and changed the subject.
