Last night I was explaining to Miles why I thought our lives would be better without the paci.

"I can hear you so much better without the pacifier," I started. My fear is that he'll end up with a lisp due to prolonged use of the paci. I read somewhere that some docs believe the device might prevent proper development of tongue muscles. Our pediatrician told me to wean the boy off the paci a year ago. I'm getting to it.

I try to speak to Miles as if he understands everything I say, and to a great extent I believe he does. I warned him last night that the paci might be putting his tongue in the wrong position. To demonstrate, I started mixing 's' sounds with 'th' sounds, conjuring memories of Cindy Brady and teeter-totters.

Not surprisingly, Miles wasn't interested in hearing my speech about The Brady Bunch or speech pathology. The garbage can was seducing him, again.

"Miles please," I pleaded, "look me in the eyes." He resisted.

"I need to talk to you. The paci might train your tongue to be in the wrong position, resulting in incorrect speech—

"Choo choo? Choo chooooooooooo!" he interjected, piercing my eyes with his, suddenly eager to hear what I had to say.

I collapsed on the kitchen floor. He heard the word train. I called to my husband (who was unloading the groceries) because I needed someone else to know about this milestone misunderstanding, and how, like me, Miles is adept at hearing what he wants to hear.

I am guessing this is our first mom-son miscommunication, aside from the times when Miles signs in the dark and I am lost until I can grope his hands.

Dang this English language. Train.