The Puh-China Dialogues

As we drove home from the beach, I alerted Miles to the presence of several chickens trying to cross the road.

I watched one run very fast down the driveway toward us. Then it disappeared behind a low snow bank. As we got nearer, I saw he was a rooster and had company. He was actually in good company. He was mating.

"Why dat chicken on top of the udder chicken?" Miles asked.

"They're making baby chickens," I said full of confidence. If we are going to live in the country, then I am going to allow nature to teach Miles a few lessons.

"But why?"

I took a breath. Miles is four next month. I decided to take the plunge.

"The rooster was actually putting his penis in the chicken's vagina in order to fertilize her eggs," I said, exhaling.

I glanced into my rear view mirror to watch his reaction. He knows body parts.

Miles stared straight ahead for ten seconds.

I began to wonder if four was too young to talk reproduction.

Miles piped, "I think his beak was in her puh-china!"

I gripped the steering wheel and forced my shoulder blades into submission. I faintly snorted into my elbow. I tried to breathe normally. It wasn't the visual image he created that was killing me this afternoon, it was his newest pronunciation of women's parts.

"Why you laughing, Mommy?"

"Why would a rooster put his beak in a chicken's puh-china? That is silly!" It was my best attempt at recovery.

"We dare yet?" Miles asked, continuing to refer to a line from The Incredibles, where the super-hero kids repeatedly ask their super-hero parent if they are near their destination. Miles throws out this line whenever we are in the car for more than 15 minutes.

Nearly there, Miles. So very close.