We were buckling into our seat-belts in my husband's truck. The kids were revealing their alternative identities. Charlie, 3, said he was Dolphin Tale. Miles, 6, claimed Lightning McQueen, the star of the Disney movie franchise Cars. I asked the boys to tell me my secret identity. "Sally!" said Miles, referring to McQueen's significant other.
"Wait, you can't be Sally," Miles reconsidered. "She's gay. I know what that means."
I remained silent. He repeated himself. I waited.
"Do you know what gay means?" Miles asked me.
Refresh me, I requested.
"It means ... you're married."
I let out a deep breath and regrouped my thoughts.
Miles added, "And married people don't kiss."
Well well well, I wanted to say, but instead said, Wait, wait wait. Let's back up.
"Mommy and Daddy are married so we're gay, and you and Charlie are single, so you are not gay. I got that right?" I posed.
"Yeah," Miles said.
"And gay people don't kiss?" I confirmed.
"Yeah. Not if they're married to someone else. Sally is married to someone else."
My ah-ha moment was upon me. I hadn't recalled Sally ever mentioning she was in a committed relationship of any kind.
"So that's why Sally and McQueen never kiss?" I offered.
"Yeah," Miles said.
"Is McQueen married?" I asked.
"No," Miles began then paused. "Race cars can't get married, I don't think so."
"So, on the TV show Modern Family," I tested, "Jay and Gloria are gay since they are married and have kids, and Claire and Phil Dunphy are gay because they are married and have kids--"
Miles nodded both times.
"--And Mitch and Cam are gay because they are married and have a kid named Lilly?" Miles and Charlie nodded.
Breathing almost naturally, I smiled and paused. I don't need to correct anything right now. If Miles sees no difference between hetero-led families and same-sex-led families, then I've done a good job showing my boys what I believe is true: That love is love, and we should celebrate love as much as we can.
Or, more accurately, Modern Family has done my job for me.
One question remained. It was the white elephant squishing into the cab of our pick-up truck.
I addressed my boys.
"If Charlie is Dolphin Tale," I reasoned, "and Miles is Lightning McQueen, and I'm Sally, then who is Daddy?"
Charlie was speechless. Miles searched for the perfect hero.
A second passed and Miles shouted:
"Ted Mosby!"
