Miles and I watched The Chronicles of Narnia last night. I should have waited ten years.
We cried though the last 30 minutes. This morning Miles asked to never rent such a sad movie again.
But he also asked what kidnapping was. (In the film, the faun Tumnus tells Lucy he's kidnapping her.)
Once I defined child abduction, I told my four-year-old if anyone stole him or his brother, that I'd look for them forever and I'd never give up my search until I found my boys.
"You know what I'd do if someone tidnapped me? I'd tick him in the penis."
Oh, I told my son, I remember when I tried to kick someone in the penis. I was in fourth grade and my target was my good-natured classmate Tommie Smith. Tommie was prepared for my attack. With ease he grabbed my leg mid-kick and threw me off balance.
You gotta think twice about the crotch kick, I warned Miles.
"Well then you know what I'd do? I'd throw the tidnapper in the swimming pool and I would tick his mother in the penis. And then, I'd pick up the swimming pool and turn it upside-down so all the water would splash down on their heads..." My boy became unintelligible as his speech dissolved in his laughter.
I like plowing through tough topics with my kids while they still have cute lisps.